New year regrets after losing a friend

I do regret not spending more time connecting and not making sure we had the same agenda.

I do regret not having a conversation the morning we split.

I do regret not reaching out that morning being ill. I wish I had tried a little bit harder to manage the pain, the tears and the failing touch screen. I wish I had had your phone number. I wanted to have faith....but I presumed you already was gone. I thought was safe any how.

I do regret sending that message when being in “free fall” after getting the report. I wanted an aftermath - not a complete breakdown of communication line. I failed. We failed

We never should have communicated by messages - we should have talked. Why was that so hard? Why did you fear that?

I do regret with all my heart the ending,

But why writing these stupid lines?
You will not read anyhow.
The words are however written.
I hope they help me moving on. 

I lost a friend from Victoria Milan by poor
communication - from both sides